Sobu Christmas
by Max Koffee
Summary: Christmas is a time to be joyful and jolly, so why does our favorite 8man feel like he's about to make a choice that will shape his entire future?


**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Oregairu. Oregairu is the property of Watari Wataru.**

"Finally… freedom." I sigh as I collapse on my chair in the clubroom. Yukinoshita and Yuigahama take note my action, but don't condemn me simply because truer words have never been spoken before.

know I've said it before, but I'll say it again: to work is to lose. And I, Hikigaya Hachiman, have been losing a great deal as of late.

The Service Club is rarely ever busy, but in a strange twist of events, we had a surge of requests out of the blue. I say strange, but I suppose it's really not. With Christmas coming up, and the club's reputation growing, I guess its reasonable to see why we had so many clients.

The requests varied greatly, from teaching a girl how to bake a Christmas cake, to providing assistance in choosing the "perfect" gift for one dude's significant other. There was even a girl who asked me to help carry a Christmas tree into her house. For some strange reason, Yukinoshita and Yuigahama came with me that day despite the requestee insisting that I would be enough. The requests took us couple weeks to complete, and we finally get to relax on this cold Thursday, a mere two days before Christmas.

"Yeah, that was probably the busiest we've ever been, right Yukinon?" Yuigahama agrees.

"Correct. The sudden influx of requests was a surprise. However, that is no reason for your improper sitting posture, Hikigaya-chan. Such a position can cause you to-" Yukinoshita was beginning to nag already.

"Hai, hai." I interrupt. Admittedly, I was sliding down my chair simply because I was too tired to sit up straight. As I corrected my posture I asked, "So, are we closing club for tomorrow? I doubt anyone will come the day before Christmas. And to be honest, I'm too drained for any more requests."

"Ahh, the return of Hiki-lazy-kun. I had hoped that all this labor might have reformed your slothful habits. Alas, it seems that I was expecting the impossible." Yukinoshita smirks.

"Hah? Are you so blind that you cannot see that I've taken this pitiful club and have raised it to a god-tier amongst others in the span of a few requests? Foolish queen, you cannot comprehend the merit of one such as I." I rebuke. I cannot allow this wench to get the best of me.

"You claim to have fulfilled all these requests by your lonesome? Such deceit. I daresay your mantle in each of these requests was nothing more than child's play. And if—"

"Guys… why are you talking like that?" Yuigahama asked.

Oh crap. I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks. This is so embarrassing. From the looks of it, Yukinoshita wasn't faring any better. Without realizing, I began talking like the characters from my trashy light novel. I had to think of a response fast before this got any more awkward.

"Looks like the speech patterns of the book I'm currently reading has stuck to me. Hahaha…." I laugh nervously as Yuigahama tilts her head in confusion. I shoot Yukinoshita a look for her to chime in.

"S-same…" was her one-word contribution.

We sat there in the awkwardness and embarrassment for a while before Yuigahama decided to show us some mercy and break the silence.

"Anyways, let's do a Secret Santa tomorrow!" Yuigahama cheerfully proposed.

Too grateful for the release of awkwardness, neither Yukinoshita nor I flat out rejected the idea.

"There won't be much of a secret if its just us three…" I point out.

"He's right, Yuigahama-san. It seems like there is a shortage of people. However, that can be fixed with a balanced risk. Please come with me so we can decide on this "risk" in private." Yukinoshita grabs Yuigahama's hand and takes her to a corner of the room, the one farthest from me.

I've gotten used to the injustices in the way decisions are made around here at this point, so I don't think about the situation too much. However, the way they spoke so lowly that I could only hear snippets of their conversation began to worry me. In addition, the way they sometimes stole glances at my direction and immediately turned around as soon as I looked at their direction told me that I was involved. After five minutes of parley, they seemed to have come to a concession and made their way to me. Both of their cheeks were tinted red. Probably from the high temperature of the room. It is kind of hot, isn't it? The heater is on, full throttle.

"Yuigahama-san and I have come up with rules for the Secret Santa event tomorrow. It will actually be more like a white elephant gift exchange. The initial rules will remain the same: each participant brings a wrapped present and then every participant will have a turn to pick a present other than their own. However, we have included a penalty." Yukinoshita states.

"A penalty in a Christmas game? You guys are sick." I make my disgust at the idea known.

"Now, now, Hikigaya-kun, these penalties are not as bad as you think. Rather, they are in your favor." Yukinoshita assures and Yuigahama nods her head vigorously besides her.

"…I'm listening."

"The penalty is as follows: You will be the first to choose one of the random gifts. Whosever gift you choose will be considered the loser, whether it be me or Yuigahama. As such, we will have no choice but to spend the entire Christmas day with you." She says with a triumphant smile and Yuigahama happily nodding her head again in confirmation.

"Wait… wait, wait, wait. You said this was in MY favor. How is being forced to leave the sanctuary of my home on Christmas no less, supposed to be in my favor? And for f*cks' sake, why do the two of you look so pleased with yourselves. Do you two take pleasure in depriving me of my sleep?" There is no way I'm spending my weekend any more that 30 feet away from bed-chan.

Just as Yuigahama opened her mouth to say something, the clubroom door slid open and in came our club advisor, Hiratsuka-sensei!

"Haha! What an excellent idea, Yuigahama and Yukinoshita. I approve! Hikigaya, isn't this such a great turn of events?" Sensei, please don't do this to me…

Before I could deny the greatness of this event, another body came through the door. One of a fox. It was Iroha.

"Ooooh! Yui-senpai, Yukinoshita-senpai, and Senpai is doing a Secret Santa? I want in!" Iroha demanded ever-so innocently.

"Umm… Isshiki, this game has a penalty, you know?" Yuigahama nervously tells her.

"Oh yea? What penalty, Yui-senpai?" Iroha tilts her head in an adorable way.

"Err.. well… you see, the person's gift that Hikigaya chooses will be forced to spend their Christmas with him." Yuigahama mutters in a barely audible voice. Oi! The one being forced is me!

"WAAAH? The entire Christmas with Senpai? That sounds fun!" Iroha exclaims.

"…"

"…"

"…"

Yuigahama, Yukinoshita, nor I had a response to that. We were shocked.

"Iroha-san… you do understand what you are implying, don't do?" Yukinoshita asked.

"Huh?" Isshiki seemed to realize something. "O-oh, yeah. I mean, i-if were to spend Christmas with Senpai, then he'd buy me all sorts of things! Yeah, that's why I thought it'd be fun." Iroha explains.

PHEW! It could have gotten weird if it went in another direction.

Though I was relieved, Yukinoshita and Yuigahama stared at Iroha with suspicion.

"Well, it's decided! Tomorrow, the Service Club will hold a Secret Santa event with the pre-determined rules and penalties. All who are in agreement, say 'I'." Hiratsuka-sensei called out.

"I"

"I"

"I"

"I"

"That is four agreements. And with that, we have reached a conclusion. Meeting adjourned." Sensei, the judge, dictated.

"Wait, don't I have a say in this?" I exclaimed as I rose up from my chair.

"NO!" All of the girls say in unison.

For the second time in the day, I collapse in my chair, exhausted. One by one, each of the girls excuse themselves, recalling prior engagements. Even Yukinoshita. And soon, I'm alone in the clubroom. Alone, I wondered where the justice in the clubroom went.

Just as I was rising up to go home for the day, I get a text from an anonymous number. It read:

 _Hikigaya-kun, this is Kawasaki. Is it true that a Secret Santa event is taking place in the clubroom tomorrow?_

I didn't give much thought to it, realizing that Yuigahama probably told her about it.

 _Yeh._

I gave my reply, expecting a confirmation that she received it. No response. After waiting for a while, I figured she didn't care so I put my phone back in my pocket and left the room. Tomorrow was going to be a rough day.

Next day

I usually have to wait for Yuigahama after class so that we can walk to club together, or else she gets mad. Today was different. As soon as the last bell rung, Yuigahama zoomed out of class. Assuming that this means I don't have to wait for her, I gather my things and make my way to the clubroom at a leisurely pace. As I walk, I check to make sure my humble gift is secured. Since I knew all other participants were female, I bought a women's bracelet I had originally planned to get Komachi for her birthday.

As I walked into the club room, nobody was there. I suppose they hadn't made it yet. There were gifts on the table, so I put mine on there as well. A good 10 minutes later I hear the door sliding and in come 4 girls: Yukinoshita, Yuigahama, Iroha, and Kawasaki. Huh? What's Kawasaki doing here? What's more, what's with the tension in the air? The room was silent as the girls line up in front of me.

Without a word of introduction, Yukinoshita says, "Let us commence."

 **Author's Note:**

Yo. Long time huh? How's it going? As for me, I've recently completed my first semester at college... and boy was it different from high school. My work ethic and time management skills needed a ton of work, and are still pretty bad right now. Basically, this semester, I wasn't fighting to live. I was fighting to avoid total annihilation. And basically, the mission was a success.

Anyways, on to actual story updates. I've really been meaning to update my stories (especially Indulging in Research), but all this time away from the fanfic community has made me forget how to write! Or at least, I'm having a very hard time putting what I mean to say into words. As such, I'm going to have to post this story instead. It's something I wrote a long, long time ago, so it doesn't really match my best quality, but I still wanted to post something as a thanks to everyone who keeps pming me and commenting on my other stories to update. I think the idea is pretty good, but the setup is weak. Let me know what you guys think.

I'll try to update my other stories soon, but I don't know exactly when that might be. So...

Until next time


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